Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
