Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
