I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
