I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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