So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
