super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Fuck me I smell like cheese
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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