We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize