I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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