I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
