I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
