Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
