The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
