Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
