I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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