I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
