grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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