I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
