Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
