she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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