I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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