My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
