Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
