I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
