We're like a lot better than the average bears
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize