Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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