I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
