She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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