Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
