YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
