I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
