Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
