South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
