im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
