don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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