I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
