His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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