That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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