What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
