Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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