haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
