That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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