i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
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I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
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Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
tell me about the fingering
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