I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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