guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize