Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize