from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We need to rekindle our bromance
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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