how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
