you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
