Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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