Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
