I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
This toilet bowl is my home.
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