a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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