Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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