i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
