he puts the penis in happiness.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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