She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
