Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
