I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
