Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Randomize
