Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
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all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
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Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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