I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
