Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
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