i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
