just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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