my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
