but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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