Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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