i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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