you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
