You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
