so let's talk penis.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
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They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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