My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
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